Love…and babies

I first met Nathan when I was a youth minister and he had joined my core team. For a while I figured he thought that I was annoying since he was so quiet around me.  Then, one day – over Facebook nonetheless – he told me that I was great and that there should be more “Allisons” in the world. Well that made it obvious he didn’t think I was annoying, if there should be more me’s running around. He reminded me of that conversation the other day, since now Nathan and I have a mini-me of each of us. See? Image

On the day of that Facebook conversation, we didn’t know we’d be getting married. But I did realize that he had a deep affection for me more than a crush, because that’s what love is – loving the other person so much you wish more of them existed. There are several kinds of love. You can love chocolate, you can love your pets and your siblings, but then there is agape – the Greek word for the total, unconditional, and self-giving love which brings more of that person you love into the world (through childbirth).  And so love is pro-life: it is fruitful; it expands and grows.

I love chocolate! I once had a chocolate-themed birthday party. And I loved my cat! I even wrote a song about how much I loved him when I was in elementary school. But I couldn’t marry either of them.  I have no doubt that two men or two women can love each other, but it cannot be married agape love because they cannot have children together.  There are two genders, and the two fit perfectly together to create new life. Two men or two women can’t do that!

 With the news of the Supreme Court’s decision regarding homosexual marriage, many heterosexual people seem to say “whatever, no big deal, that decision doesn’t affect me.” But it does, because marriage is the foundation of our existence and the foundation on which society is built.  Marriage used to mean babies, and that meant carrying on your lineage, it meant a workforce to pay your social security. But most importantly, marriage is about our children, and this new ruling seriously affects our children.  Psychology has shown the negative effects on children in the absence of a mother or a father. Would anyone want to intentionally deny a child of knowing their mother or their father? We already feel sympathy for a child who lost their parent through divorce or death. Children can rise from these unfortunate circumstances, and all healing comes through Jesus Christ, but why are we ruling for laws to make this the norm for our children? Are we saying we WANT them to be denied a mother or a father? 

Consider this: (1)
-In a study of 6,500 children, father closeness was negatively correlated with the amount of a child’s friends who smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, and smoke marijuana.
-63% of youth who commit suicide are from fatherless homes.
-80% of rapists motivated by displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
-71% of all high school dropouts come from homes without a father. 

When “love” and marriage become about pleasure and feeling good, instead of about sacrifice and children, people get hurt. We’ve seen this start since people started  using contraception. Look at these staggering facts:

  • According to the National Women’s Study, 683,000 women are raped every year in the United States, which equals to 1,897 a day. (2)
  • In 2011, 61,472 cases of child sexual abuse were reported. Many, many more went unreported. (3)
  • Every year, 19 million people contract a new sexually transmitted infection. 1 in 4 teens gets an STI. (4)
  • It is estimated that the number of women and children sold into human sex trafficking are in the millions, making it the fastest growing business in organized crime today. (5)

 Also, Catholic charities in several states have been forced to close down by the government because they refuse to place children with homosexual couples. With this ruling, it will be more common to close down Catholic Charities, which is the 3rd largest charitable organization providing food, shelter, counseling, adoption, and pregnancy services to several million people each year. (6) Shutting these places down because they aren’t “PC” is simply wrong.

Simply put, love and marriage need to be for the purpose of babies; an agape love that is open to life.

 For more articles on this topic see:








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