After my last post on worrying, I’ve been reflecting on the ways that God has provided for me. And the best way of all is that I live in Denver with my wonderful husband and two kids (soon to be three!).
You see, my senior year in college I had led several mission trips to Belize and felt God was calling me to be a missionary there. I was learning a lot about trust and discernment at the time and said, “Ok, I’ll give this my all.” But halfway through the summer after graduation, things weren’t coming together and it seemed being a missionary in Belize wasn’t what God wanted for me after all. At first, I felt abandoned. “God, you told me to do this and now where are you?”
But towards the end of the summer I landed a few job interviews, and by many miraculous interventions this east coast gal interviewed for a youth ministry position in Denver and moved across the country two weeks later to start.
Only as I looked back could I see that all along God had a plan. By holding out for the missionary work, I was able to travel all summer, and then be available when the position opened up in Denver. So I live in Denver now.
My first year in youth ministry, there was one night a week when it was my turn to lock up the church at night after youth group. As I finished checking to make sure all the doors were locked in the dark church, I would walk up the long center aisle, genuflect at the tabernacle, and leave for the night. Many nights as I walked up the aisle from the back of the church to leave, I would imagine myself walking up that same center aisle, only with the lights on, guests present, and my future husband standing at the altar. Only I didn’t know what he looked like. Because I wasn’t dating anyone at the time, hadn’t dated much, and really didn’t know if I ever would.
Three years later on a hot yet glorious Saturday in July of 2010, with all our friends and family present, I did walk down that center aisle to my husband. My husband, who I had met at that church while working as a youth minister.
The following June, we again walked down that same center aisle for the Mass where we celebrated the baptism of our firstborn son. This summer we’ll celebrate the baptism of our third in that same Church.
God is good, and there’s no doubt He’s led me to where I am today. He knows our hearts, he knows our desires, and he has a plan. I still struggle with worry, but hopefully as I continue to reflect on all the good He’s done, I will trust is what He has yet to do!
“Trust in the Lord and do good that you may dwell in the land and live secure. Find your delight in the Lord who will give you your hearts desire.” Psalm 37:3-4