From the Spotlight to the Hidden Life

I used to be a youth minister.  I worked in a church where I was in front of people all the time. Talking, leading, and ministering. I had to be on top of my game, spiritually speaking, if I was going to be effective.  Sometimes it was more about deepening my personal relationship, but sometimes it was that outside pressure that kept me going to the UnknownChapel and waking up for daily Mass.  And so there I was, at the Church all the time because I was the face of the youth in our church. I was in the spotlight.

And then I got married. And immediately the kids started coming and I was now at home. All the time. It was more of a hidden life now – for most of the day it was just me and babies who can’t talk. The way I was used to praying involved daily mass and frequenting the adoration chapel, and I no longer had those luxuries for my prayer time. And so my priorities became eating, dishes, and laundry, and it became difficult to find time to pray. “They don’t even know what prayer is; they wouldn’t notice the difference if I prayed or not.” Or so I thought. I convinced myself that my spiritual life wasn’t as important now that I wasn’t in the spotlight.

But I was incredibly wrong. I remember when it hit me. I was in line for confession examining my conscience. It has been a while, but I hadn’t really done anything that bad. I’m a mom now, so I don’t really have time to sin, right? And then I started to recall every time that my husband and I had fought. Every time I had lost it and yelled at the kids, every time that I had failed to discipline in love. I realized that my spiritual life was more important now than ever before because I was responsible for the souls of these tiny children who do not know any better. That I am accountable to my husband and our vows to be leading him closer to heaven.

So while the hidden life, the “interior house life” of a mom may seem inconsequential, it will impact your family and society for generations to come.

I think of Mary, who we know so little about in the Bible, but yet she was the most important person in Jesus’ life. Her role was so great, and yet so hidden. With every newborn comes an adjustment in routine and schedule. But that doesn’t diminish the importance of prayer; I think it increases it.images-2

So now it’s time to be motivated out of love for God, love for my vocation, and love for my family to be striving for sanctity and to find time to pray. Not just to say grace before meals and bedtime prayers, but to find time to be anchored in prayer and to be more like Mary.

“But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.” Matthew 6:6


A Personal Letter to Single People


Dear Single People,

Hindsight is 20/20, and that is why I share this with you.

My son woke up at 1am the other night crying. I gave him Benadryl and then he ate two pancakes. While I was rubbing his back to get him to go back to sleep I had some time to think.  Mostly thinking about WYD and how it would’ve been awesome to go but also stressful because I hate crowds. And then how I thought I was going to be a missionary in Belize but I ended up in Denver, so here I am wiping snot all day long and making airplane noises while feeding my baby.

Married life is a vocation, and a cross. It is not glamorous, but it’s fulfilling in that this is how God has asked me to be holy and hopefully raise my children to be holy.  I sometimes look back longingly on my single days when I could sleep through the night and stay out until 11 and actually be invited to things. My dear single friends, relationships are not like what they appear in the movies!

Maybe someday you will be called to marriage, but right now God is asking you to be holy as a single person, and its much better than you think! While I am practicing this interior house life, you are able to be the visible hands and feet of Christ to the world. So instead of wasting all these present moments by pining after a life you don’t have right now, live your life to the full! Volunteer in the things that I cannot do. Volunteer at a food bank, a youth group, a crisis pregnancy center. Use your extra income that you may never have again to “adopt” a child in Africa. Go on a mission trip. Help build a well in a place that desperately needs clean water. If you do not find a ministry that you are passionate about and use your extra time there, may I be so bold to say then you are not only being selfish, but you are wasting away these prime years of your life when you could be making a difference.  Most times you find a spouse when you aren’t looking for it anyway. Or maybe they will be volunteering along side you.

Someday my kids will be older and we will be able to do more outside our home.  But for now that is not the case. So for the sake of all of us moms with young children out there, heed the call of Christ to be his hands and feet. We at home are making/raising our own disciples, but Christ needs laborers of the harvest and right now that is YOU.