Before I had kids, holiness seemed like something that was attainable, albeit difficult. There was a routine to follow that made sense as ways to “accomplish” sanctity marked by daily mass, holy hours, and personal prayer time. There were opportunities for retreats and confession, and I lived a life in ministry.
Then came the kids. There was no more daily mass or holy hours, confession became more of a logistical challenge, and a routine of personal prayer went out the window. I know that when the kids are older routines will again take shape, but for now I still struggle with seeing the sanctity in my day of diapers and dishes and bedtime. After all, this was my vocation, correct? This sacrament of matrimony and the blessing of children were to be my ticket to heaven, right? Well, they are but it doesn’t look the way I expected or how it looked before, and I’ve struggled with that adjustment.
My intention in starting this blog was to draw connections between every day life and the sanctity I’m grasping for; the closeness with Jesus that I know deep down below my tired eyes, saggy belly, and impatient heart that I am longing for. I wanted to find the deeper meaning in this interior house life of motherhood.
So I have taken a break from writing to collect and find myself, and to find my niche. I don’t want to be “another mom blogger.” There are so many out there (and so many good ones!) that I didn’t want to re-write the same things everyone else was saying and I wasn’t sure if I would even keep the blog going.
Thanks to some encouragement and some inspiration, I’m going to re-focus and try one more time. I’m going to write a weekly (hopefully) reflection on family life and how I’m trying to find holiness in mine. I promise writings that are sincere, honest, and encouraging. I hope you can journey with me as I figure out how this interior house life will draw me to sanctity (and hopefully to sanity).